Dear Moms and Dads of the world,
Has your son brought someone home to meet you lately? And If he has, how long did this person stick around? Now I want you to think about when the relationship ended, was his excuse that she was hard to deal with? Or that she was crazy? Furthermore, did you believe him? Earth to parents! Those girls weren’t ALL crazy…and the ones that were, probably weren’t crazy when they met your son. You see he has a certain Je ne sais quoi that can drive you a little crazy and no one knows that better than you. That’s why you couldn’t wait to get him out of your house. But I digress. My point is that if your son is 30 or approaching 30 (God help him if he’s even older) and hasn’t brought anyone home, it isn’t because he went his entire 20s single and celibate. (Could be, but let’s explore the other option) He hasn’t been alone but he also hasn’t been dating.
I know that it can be a bit confusing so let me break it down for you. Those of us who desire long term relationships that will eventually lead to marriage, desire to be dated. We think of dating as two people taking their time to get to know one another. They plan various activities to engage in, share special moments and secrets, and engage in a form of intimacy that exceeds the physical. During this time they become exclusive and more serious. This group doesn’t include your baby boy. Your son…he’s rather shallow. He’d rather settle for the physical intimacy alone, which without the other things doesn’t mean much. Yes, your baby boy doesn’t take the time to get to know women, he just jumps right in for the kill…and not eloquently. I know you want to think that he’s the type to take girls to candle lit dinners but instead he results to sending two word text messages…like :
Wanna ?I’ll spare you any further embarrassment.
Maybe he’s this way because he’s lazy or cheap. Honestly, I don’t know. But the point is… I can’t teach him anymore.
I don’t have time to teach your grown man of a son how to properly call a woman, show interest, and balance his time since he’s so “busy”. I also can’t handle the anxiety his inconsistency brings. At this point I’ve resulted to blocking him to prevent this “on and off/ when he feels like it” situation and I wanted you to relay the message by helping him do better with the next woman he attempts to “date.”
I know you don’t want to stick your nose in his business, but think about it…because of him, you won’t get to have huge family celebrations with him and his family because he doesn’t and won’t have a family any time soon if he keeps up these habits. Sadly we will also never get to meet, so you’ll have to settle for dramatized stories about how “crazy” he thinks I am. I’m really quite intelligent, which is why it wouldn’t work. He isn’t someone I could build with. Don’t get me wrong, he has a lot of potential, I mean that’s the whole reason this was even a thing. Although I want to be with someone I can learn from and teach, this is one of those things he shouldn’t have left home lacking. That being said, I don’t know what to tell you to tell him because like I said I don’t have the time or patience to teach him. But a conversation needs to be had.
Yours sincerely and respectfully,